What insomnia actually is
Insomnia is persistent difficulty falling asleep, staying asleep, or getting sleep that actually restores you — despite having the chance to sleep — and feeling the effects of it during the day. A bad night or two is normal. Insomnia is when poor sleep settles into a pattern, usually for weeks or more, and starts costing you energy, mood and concentration.
For a lot of people, the frustrating part is that they’re exhausted but “tired and wired” at bedtime — the body is spent, but the mind picks that quiet moment to replay the day and rehearse tomorrow. That’s the fingerprint of insomnia’s close link with anxiety: a nervous system that hasn’t been given the signal that it’s safe to power down.
Insomnia can be its own problem, or a symptom of something else — anxiety, depression, stress, pain, or a physical condition. Short-term insomnia often resolves once the stressor passes; longer-term insomnia tends to be kept alive by a cycle of worry about sleep itself.
Sleep and mood are tightly linked
There’s no sleep-specific check here, but insomnia so often rides with anxiety or low mood that the free wellbeing checks — which cover both — can help you see what might be keeping you awake.
The wellbeing checks don’t diagnose a sleep disorder. They’re reflection tools, not a diagnosis, and your answers never leave your browser.
Signs to look for
Insomnia is about the pattern and its daytime cost, not a single rough night. It shows up at bedtime, through the night, and in how the next day goes.
Lying awake for a long time, a mind that races or won’t switch off, dreading bedtime, watching the clock.
Waking repeatedly, or waking in the early hours and being unable to drop off again while the worries start up.
Sleeping the hours but waking as if you hadn’t — groggy, heavy, never quite rested.
Fatigue, irritability, poor concentration and memory, low mood, and anxiety about how the coming night will go.
What causes it, and what keeps it going
Insomnia often starts with something specific — stress, a change of routine, illness, grief, shift work, too much screen light late at night. But what keeps it going once it’s set in is usually a self-feeding cycle: a few bad nights make you anxious about sleep, so you try harder to sleep, go to bed earlier, lie there willing it to happen — and that effort and worry are themselves arousing, which keeps sleep away.
The bed can even become a cue for wakefulness and frustration rather than rest. That’s why the approaches that work best aren’t about trying harder to sleep — they’re about removing the pressure and rebuilding the link between bed and sleep.
What actually helps
None of this replaces proper support, but all of it is worth doing while you decide:
- Keep one fixed wake time. Get up at the same time every day, including weekends, regardless of how the night went. A steady wake time anchors your body clock far more powerfully than a steady bedtime.
- Don’t lie in bed awake. If you’re wide awake after what feels like 20 minutes, get up, do something calm and dim-lit, and return only when sleepy. It rebuilds the link between bed and sleep instead of bed and frustration.
- Stop chasing sleep. The harder you try to sleep, the more it eludes you. Aim to rest, not to sleep; take the pressure off, and sleep tends to arrive on its own.
- Get a worry wind-down. Write tomorrow’s worries and to-dos on paper an hour before bed, so your mind doesn’t save them up for the moment you lie down.
- Protect the basics. Morning daylight, movement during the day, less caffeine after midday, and screens dimmed and down before bed all help — not as magic fixes, but as the conditions sleep needs.
When to get support
If poor sleep has run for weeks, if it’s wearing down your days, or if dread of bedtime has become its own problem, it’s worth getting support rather than waiting it out — especially since insomnia and anxiety or low mood so often feed each other, and treating one usually helps the other.
A counsellor can help you untangle what’s driving the wakefulness, break the worry-about-sleep cycle, and address the anxiety or stress underneath. If a physical sleep disorder (such as sleep apnoea) seems likely, or sleep problems are severe, a doctor’s assessment is the right step, and your counsellor will say so.
Common myths, cleared up
“Everyone needs eight hours or something’s wrong.”
Sleep need varies from person to person, and fixating on a magic number tends to make sleep anxiety worse. What matters more is whether you feel reasonably rested and function well — not hitting an exact figure.
“I’ll catch up on sleep at the weekend.”
Big weekend lie-ins shift your body clock and can make the following nights worse, feeding the cycle. A consistent wake time does more for sleep than occasional catch-up marathons.
“If I just try harder to sleep, I’ll drop off.”
Sleep is one of the few things that effort actively sabotages. Trying to force it raises arousal and keeps you awake. Letting go of the effort — aiming to rest, not to sleep — is what works.
Talking to someone about it
You don’t need a diagnosis, a crisis or a tidy explanation to book a session. “Something feels off and I can’t explain it” is a perfectly good place to start.
A session is a private 1:1 conversation with Sachin Bajaj, who has an M.Sc in Clinical Psychology from Gurugram University and a PGDGC from Jamia Millia Islamia. It’s ₹499 for 45 minutes, and ₹249 for your first with the code FIRST50.
Nothing goes to your parents, school, college or employer. A first name is enough to book. For most people that turns out to matter more than the price.
Book a first session — ₹249
One 45-minute conversation. Pick your own slot and get the invite immediately. Video, voice or chat — no package, no commitment to a course of treatment.
Other conditions, explained
Frequently asked questions
When does poor sleep become insomnia?
A night or two of bad sleep is normal, especially under stress. It edges toward insomnia when the difficulty — falling asleep, staying asleep, or waking unrefreshed — becomes a regular pattern over weeks and starts affecting your mood, energy or concentration during the day.
Why does my mind race the moment I lie down?
During the day, activity and distraction keep worries at bay. Bedtime removes them, leaving a quiet, dark space where an anxious mind finally has room to run. It’s a very common sign of the link between insomnia and anxiety, and it responds well to winding down and addressing the underlying worry.
Should I use sleeping pills?
Medication can have a short-term place, but it’s best discussed with a doctor and isn’t a long-term fix for most people — it doesn’t address what keeps insomnia going. Approaches that retrain sleep and reduce the worry around it tend to work better and last longer.
Can counselling actually help me sleep?
Yes. Because chronic insomnia is so often maintained by anxiety and the worry about sleep itself, working on those — and rebuilding healthy sleep patterns — frequently improves sleep without medication. If a physical sleep disorder is suspected, a counsellor will point you to a doctor.